The State of Our Unions

Time Magazine and Pew Research recently completed a study on the “Decline of Marriage and Rise of New Families.” Here’s a link to the full study:
http://pewsocialtrends.org/2010/11/18/the-decline-of-marriage-and-rise-of-new-families/

Among the findings:
About half of all adults in this country are married (52%). That’s compared to seven-in-ten (72%) in 1960.

More college graduates (64%) are married than those with just a high school diploma or less (48%).

Nearly four-in-ten (39%) Americans say that marriage is becoming obsolete.

Seven-in-ten (69%) say the trend toward more single women having children is bad for society, and 61% say that a child needs both a mother and father to grow up happily.

Three-quarters of all adults (76%) say their family is the most important element of their life.

More than six-in-ten (62%) survey respondents endorse the modern marriage in which the husband and wife both work and both take care of the household and children; this is up from 48% in 1977.

Some 67% of survey respondents say that in order to be ready for marriage, it’s very important for a man to be able to support his family financially; just 33% say the same about a woman.

In the Pew Research survey, 44% of all adults (and more than half of all adults ages 30 to 49) say they have cohabited (lived together without being married) at some point in their lives.


The findings are not surprising. As a society, we are still not turned off to the idea of marriage. Fifty-eight percent of those who have never been married still want to tie the knot at some point. And as Sociologist Andrew Cherlin observes in Time, “Getting married is a way to show family and friends that you have a successful personal life. It’s like the ultimate merit badge.” Also, our interest in celebrity “fairy tale” weddings would seem to point to a society that is still very must interested in marriage. Look no further than the engagement of Britain’s Prince William and Kate Middleton for proof.

But America’s concept of marriage might point to a larger picture of the changing values it holds. Just 30 percent of respondents surveyed believe the ideal marriage is one in which the husband provides financially and the wife takes care of the house and children. That’s compared to 43 percent of Americans surveyed in 1977.

For better or worse, women are no longer keeping house, making breakfast, and packing a lunch for the husband who is supporting the family. In 1978, fewer than half of all respondents thought that the best kind of marriage was one in which both the husband and wife worked outside the home. Now, 62 percent feel that’s the best marriage model. Though we haven’t completed broken ranks with the idea that the man should provide a “good” income, as 41 percent say this quality is very important for a good husband to have whereas just 19 percent said this was important for women.

Americans are also increasingly marrying people who are on the same socioeconomic and educational level as they are. In the 1960s, it was common for doctors to marry nurses and businessmen to propose to their secretaries. Now, “power couples” are all the rage.


So why are fewer people getting married? The simple answer, people expect more from their spouses. Like a college education for one. In 1990, more high school educated couples made it to the altar than college graduates by the age of 30. It is now the other way around. More (46 percent) of college graduates want to get married, and 44 percent of the less educated do.

Belinda Luscombe authored the Time article, “Marriage: What’s It Good For,” and writes that those with a college education want to wait until they launch their careers whereas, “the less educated will wait until they feel comfortable financially.”

She says the down economy has driven the 13 percent increase of couples in “cohabitation.” But, society has also become more accepting of “cohabitation,” or living together. In the Pew Research survey, 44% of all adults (and more than half of all adults ages 30 to 49) say they have cohabited at some point in their lives. Among those who have done so, about two-thirds (64%) say they thought of this living arrangement as a step toward marriage.

Forty-one percent of babies were born out of wedlock in 2008, an eightfold increase from 50 years ago. And 25 percent of kids now live in a single-parent home which is nearly triple the number of 1960. So it is not surprising that Americans (over three-quarters) still believe kids are best raised in a marriage.

I think the bottom line is that Americans still desire marriage as the ultimate pinnacle of personal success in their lives. But, many are prepared to settle for less in these dark, uncertain times. Since living together is less frowned upon than it used to be, people are beginning to “cohabitate” with the thought they will eventually get married (which more often than not, does not happen).

What is clear is that living together has not replaced the institution of marriage in the minds of Americans. Marriage is something that is still highly revered in our culture. Maybe too revered. So many of us now operate under the assumption that a perfect marriage is unattainable. And it is. Not one union has ever been perfect. We’ve also seen so many unions fall apart that we have become discouraged at the thought of ever getting married. But that doesn’t mean we should discount the institution as a whole. There are so many “good” marriages out there that it is still something we must all strive for in our lives.

Seventy-seven percent of Americans say it is easier for married people to raise a family (2 percent disagree). Thirty-five percent say it’s easier to be financially secure in a marriage (11 percent disagree). And Twenty-nine percent say happiness is more often found in marriage (29 percent) than not (5 percent).

Perhaps, Americans are just a little less willing to “fight the good fight.” Finding a good partner is hard. Marriage is harder. And in a world of arduous circumstances, we are just less willing to bite off another challenge in our personal lives. But as the old saying goes, “With great risk, comes great reward.” So let’s shoulder up some of that good old fashioned responsibility and jump in. Because marriage not only benefits the two individuals in them, they make for a better society.

This discussion will continue on Thursday, December 2nd on The Big Picture radio program. It airs live at noon eastern on Georgetown College's 93.7 WRVG-FMLP. Georgetown College counselor Megan Redditt and Ashley Babladelis, Georgetown College Area Coordinator for Campus Ministry, will weigh in on the institution of marriage. You can hear the discussion at this link: http://wrvg.georgetowncollege.edu/stream.htm

A Not So Puzzling Memorial Day Truth

For many years I have wondered why this nation’s youngest generation (my generation) struggles to understand the military service of their grandparents and great-grandparents. You see few young people in cemeteries or at Memorial Day services, unless they are drug there by their parents.

It certainly could be that these tributes are boring to them (I know they were to me at one time). But I think a larger reason might be behind their lack of interest. War-fighting is nowhere near as main-stream as it was 50 years ago. In fact, only a small sub-set of the population has a direct relative fighting in the military.

You have to go back to World War II or Vietnam to understand the impact that mass military mobilization can have on a society. Even if your father or brother wasn’t fighting in the war, your neighbor or relative was. The nation’s economy was pointed towards the war effort. Constant reminders existed wherever you went…work, school, or the store. Today, Americans can easily ignore the wars in Afghanistan or Iraq. They can go to the mall or to school without being reminded of the price military men and women are paying for them at that very second.

I think something can also be said for America’s war track record. WWII was this country's finest hour. We became the dominant world power with our victories over Germany and Japan. A budding middle class, road network, higher education, racial and economic equality were born out of that war.

Our efforts since then have not been so successful. We were able to deliver a stalemate at the 38th parallel in Korea. Yet, few remember Korean War Vets in the way we remember World War II or Vietnam Vets. The Vietnam War to this day leaves a sour taste in many Americans mouth, both from the actions in Indochina and here at home.

Operation Desert Storm was a huge success for the military, but was extremely short lived. And many Americans simply wish the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan would just go away. They are tired of funding them and watching the casualties pile up on the evening newscasts.

Therefore, it’s no small mystery that the public now focuses on Memorial Day as the official start of the summer. They anxiously look forward to the backyard fun this day brings. And though I have never been one to bash family fun, I think it’s important that we pay proper homage to those who lost their lives so we can have barbeques and beach fun.

If only for the two or three days out of the year we are suppose to…

The Defining Symbol of Albion, IL

I recently conducted a poll on the defining symbol of America. The American Flag overwhelming defeated the Statue of Liberty and the Bald Eagle. But as the results came back to me, I began to wonder what the consensus would be on the defining symbol of Albion, IL. My hometown in Southern Illinois takes up just 2.2 square miles and contains all of 2,000 people. And though Albion resides in the second smallest county in the state, the town’s history rises above all others. Its memorable landmarks shed light not only on the town’s past, but on American small town life in general. It might be tough if you’ve never been here (and if you haven’t…consider a road trip). But, if you had to pick a defining symbol of the town to put on a postcard what would it be? The decision is harder than you might think…


The Courthouse-A timeless beauty, anchored in the center of the town. The clock tower was recently renovated. One of the oldest courthouses in the state of Illinois, it captures the spirit of small town life.


The Pagoda-Originally constructed to protect the downtown well, the pagoda has stood at the corner of Main and 5th Streets for nearly a century.


Albion Public Library-The oldest public library in the state of Illinois was established in 1819. It has resided at its current location, at the intersection of Main and 4th Streets, since 1922.


Brick Streets-The brick industry of Albion dates back to 1819, just one year after Illinois became a state. The Albion Shale Brick company was incorporated in 1900. Fourteen blocks of the historic brick streets remain in Albion.


Water Tower-There’s not much of a skyline to Albion (other than this landmark and the McDonalds sign), but for decades this tower has welcomed patrons to our beloved city.


Stewart & Son Store-It represents every little small town shop that ever existed in America. Though the store has not sold groceries in more than a decade, you can still find antiques in this relic.

The Defining Symbol of America...The Flag!

You voted the American Flag as the defining symbol of this country. And shouldn't it be? The 13-star version was adopted in 1777. Today's version was adopted in 1960, bearing 13 equal horizontal stripes of red alternating with white, with a blue canton that has 50 white stars. Old Glory is probably the most recognizable symbol of America to the rest of the world. The Stars and Stripes represent not only our government, but the ideology and ideas that go with it. Above, Astronaut Alan Shepard raises the flag on the surface of the moon during the Apollo 14 mission.

The American Dream...Tomorrow

News Commentator Paul Harvey once remarked, “Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be.” An eternal optimist in every respect, Harvey constantly rang the bell of freedom in America during his life. As the host of Paul Harvey News & Comment and The Rest of the Story, his death in 2009 marked the end of an era for broadcasting and for this country’s greatest generation of Americans.

As we turn the page on a new decade and century, questions surround the future feasibility of the American Dream. For years it has stood tall in New York harbor, over America’s heartland, and to the other shining sea. I have already outlined the core principles of yesterday and today’s American Dream (freedom, opportunity, hard work, and determination). I felt I was pessimistic in my last post on America’s current feelings toward the American Dream. Or, maybe I over represented the views of a few cynics.

I am tremendously hopeful that in America’s heart, flag-waving, cross-bearing, and Uncle Sam-loving will continue for many decades to come. For millions of Americans in the heartland, the American Dream is the same now as it ever was and will ever be. Home ownership and the hard work, determination, and freedom that come with it are very important to the majority of Americans. And I do not fear that these desires will pass from American minds anytime soon.

“Each generation imagines that we’re all going to hell. Each generation goes through a little hell and comes out heat tempered and better than before.” I find these words of Paul Harvey particularly applicable in today’s age of doubt. With the 2000s as a small window, we saw the rise and fall of American opinion after 9/11, Iraq War, Hurricane Katrina, and the recession. Whatever conflicts, internal and external, come our way over the course of the next century we must realize that our fathers and forefathers endured trial in defending their country principles. If we love the American Dream and aspire to it as much as we say we do, we must be willing to bear its burdens however unfavorable at the time they might be. So that we might preserve for future generation that two-story house with a white picket fence in a suburban neighborhood with a family of smiling faces in the front yard.

The American Dream...Today

For years the icon of the American Dream was a two-story house with a white picket fence in a suburban neighborhood with a family of smiling faces in the front yard. Not that it still isn’t, but Americans seem to demand more or less of themselves than they use to with this dream. In addition to the perfect house and family, they want the perfect job, church, car, weather forecast, and financial state. It’s true…we have become more selfish over the years. But one would think that our demands for more would only tighten America’s grip on the world. Instead, we’ve seen a less dominant America in the past few years than ever before. However, some Americans care less and less about obtaining the dream. So, in general, the idea of the American Dream is less universal than it used to be.

In March of 2007, Forbes.com polled 60 actors, artists, politicians and executives on what they thought is the essence of the American Dream. A few of the responses…

Tom Brokaw, Former Anchor and Managing Editor of NBC Nightly News
“To me, the American Dream is the freedom to choose to live how and where you want, to determine how you'll be governed and to provide your children with even more choices than you had.”

Ted Turner, Cable Television Pioneer
“We have to plan a simpler life and one that's kinder to the environment. We need to stress the quality of our lives and the importance of our relationship with our family and friends rather than consuming resources the way that the historical classic American Dream has been. We need to have a new dream and it's a global dream, one of peace in the world.”

Hugh Hefner, Playboy Founder
“I think the American Dream is personal, political and economic freedom. It’s what the Constitution assures, it’s an immigrant dream, and a dream which we most identify with, largely in part because the idea has been promoted worldwide through movies and American pop culture.”

Colin Powell, Former U.S. Secretary of State
“The American Dream is something that every immigrant brought to this country, as my parents did, and that is the ability to go as far as you can in life, limited only by your own dreams and willingness to work hard. And above all, the American Dream for these folks meant that your children will have the opportunity to do better than you will.”

http://www.forbes.com/2007/03/20/american-dream-oped-cx_de_dream0307_0322dream_land.html

Maybe the American Dream or citizen’s idea of the dream has changed little since the early 20th century? The common themes of personal and economic freedom, hard work, and opportunity for future success are still present in the minds of Americans today. But the concept of how those values look on paper or materialistically is somewhat different.

The role of government in American’s lives has been a point of contention recently with the passage of the new healthcare law. Clearly, Americans still highly value their personal freedoms and do not want the government to dictate what they can and cannot do. Yet, this healthcare bill passed so not everyone believes this to be true.

The country’s continually rising debt (almost 13 trillion dollars) has raised concern over what this current generation may be doing to future generations of Americans. But the money drain has not been plugged in Washington. Earmark and government agency spending is still out of control. Americans feel they are worse off than ever before. In the past, we always saw a brighter future for our posterity…not a darker one.

Also, men and women are working almost equally in the work force. So the notion of the perfect American family has changed from working dad, stay-at-home mom, and houseful of kids to working dad and mom with fewer kids.

Finally, Americans seem less willing to work hard to better themselves. We have more people than ever before seeking welfare benefits. Some argue that it is because of a down economy. But, Americans also are not seeking out jobs, even if the career might not be in their preferred area of choice. This is not true of a majority of Americans, but an increasing number nevertheless.

So with all of that said, I think a majority of Americans if polled would still choose the two story house with a picket fence in a suburban neighborhood as the icon of the American Dream. A majority of Americans still probably want that dream and the values that come with it to become a reality for them. Going forward, however, the American Dream might resemble something entire different. It could be something more for a select few who apply themselves and less for those who do not. Because as previously mentioned we aren’t so willing to stop and appreciate what we’ve been given in this bountiful land. Many Americans want more and that could be our undoing. But more on that in my next post…

The American Dream….Yesterday

I want to start out by thanking those of you who have voted in my poll! You still have a few more days to vote on the defining symbol of America! I’ll have another poll on the American Dream in a few days. But speaking of “the dream”…

The American Dream has captured the imagination of millions of people across the world for centuries now. What it looks like and whether or not it’s still possible today and tomorrow is a matter of debate for a later date (but one I will tackle in due time). But how did it start, and what did it look like and mean to the citizens of this country in the past?

We commonly associate the American Dream with concepts like hard work, skill, luck, and imagination. When you say “American Dream,” folks instantly conjure up images of immigrants making their way past the Statue of Liberty to New York in search of a better life. Or, we think of settlers in covered wagons heading west in search of new land and resources. Today, it’s even associated with home ownership.

But the American Dream starts with the second sentence of the Declaration of Independence. That “all men are created equal” and are “endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights” including “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” Yet the phrase “American Dream” would come almost 60 years later when James Truslow Adams coined it in his book “Epic of America.”

He wrote that the American Dream has, “lured tens of millions of all nations to our shores in the past century (and) has not been a dream of material plenty, though that has doubtlessly counted heavily. It has been a dream of being able to grow to fullest development as a man and woman, unhampered by the barriers which had slowly been erected in the older civilizations, unrepressed by social orders which had developed for the benefit of classes rather than for the simple human being of any and every class.”

Yet, it has evolved into a dream of material plenty in addition to the development of mankind.

The ability to make a life for oneself based off your own hard work and determination was a foreign concept in the world. For the first time, people in the world were given the opportunity to succeed or fail based on their own sweat and grit with little interference from the government or anyone else. The buck stopped with you. In the nineteenth century, Americans were so giddy at the chance to own and work a piece of land that they virtually ignored the dangers of what that life might bring. Long oceanic passages brought on sickness in their quest to make it to America. And settler’s heading west saw threats from wildlife and weather systems. But the concept of prosperity for anyone who was willing to lay it all on the line overwhelmed any danger one might face.

Land itself was essential to the American Dream even after the frontier was closed. The idea of owning a plot of land is something that still drives Americans to work hard. We have historically been resource hungry and that need has only increased over the years with North America’s plentiful resources.

From its beginning the American dream has been found with the middle class and poor as some bar of achievement they should strive to reach. Millions of Americans bettered themselves because of the idea of the American Dream, it pushed them into a new mindset of what they thought was not possible before. The American Dream’s ability to transcend gender and racial boundaries is also important to note. Following the Civil War, many blacks headed west in search of the same life white’s hoped to cultivate. The women’s rights movement in the early 20th century also falls in line with the American Dream.

What does it look like today though? As time has gone on, more and more people have questioned the validity of the American Dream. But that’s a discussion for my next post…