Time Magazine and Pew Research recently completed a study on the “Decline of Marriage and Rise of New Families.” Here’s a link to the full study:
http://pewsocialtrends.org/2010/11/18/the-decline-of-marriage-and-rise-of-new-families/
Among the findings:
About half of all adults in this country are married (52%). That’s compared to seven-in-ten (72%) in 1960.
More college graduates (64%) are married than those with just a high school diploma or less (48%).
Nearly four-in-ten (39%) Americans say that marriage is becoming obsolete.
Seven-in-ten (69%) say the trend toward more single women having children is bad for society, and 61% say that a child needs both a mother and father to grow up happily.
Three-quarters of all adults (76%) say their family is the most important element of their life.
More than six-in-ten (62%) survey respondents endorse the modern marriage in which the husband and wife both work and both take care of the household and children; this is up from 48% in 1977.
Some 67% of survey respondents say that in order to be ready for marriage, it’s very important for a man to be able to support his family financially; just 33% say the same about a woman.
In the Pew Research survey, 44% of all adults (and more than half of all adults ages 30 to 49) say they have cohabited (lived together without being married) at some point in their lives.
The findings are not surprising. As a society, we are still not turned off to the idea of marriage. Fifty-eight percent of those who have never been married still want to tie the knot at some point. And as Sociologist Andrew Cherlin observes in Time, “Getting married is a way to show family and friends that you have a successful personal life. It’s like the ultimate merit badge.” Also, our interest in celebrity “fairy tale” weddings would seem to point to a society that is still very must interested in marriage. Look no further than the engagement of Britain’s Prince William and Kate Middleton for proof.
But America’s concept of marriage might point to a larger picture of the changing values it holds. Just 30 percent of respondents surveyed believe the ideal marriage is one in which the husband provides financially and the wife takes care of the house and children. That’s compared to 43 percent of Americans surveyed in 1977.
For better or worse, women are no longer keeping house, making breakfast, and packing a lunch for the husband who is supporting the family. In 1978, fewer than half of all respondents thought that the best kind of marriage was one in which both the husband and wife worked outside the home. Now, 62 percent feel that’s the best marriage model. Though we haven’t completed broken ranks with the idea that the man should provide a “good” income, as 41 percent say this quality is very important for a good husband to have whereas just 19 percent said this was important for women.
Americans are also increasingly marrying people who are on the same socioeconomic and educational level as they are. In the 1960s, it was common for doctors to marry nurses and businessmen to propose to their secretaries. Now, “power couples” are all the rage.
So why are fewer people getting married? The simple answer, people expect more from their spouses. Like a college education for one. In 1990, more high school educated couples made it to the altar than college graduates by the age of 30. It is now the other way around. More (46 percent) of college graduates want to get married, and 44 percent of the less educated do.
Belinda Luscombe authored the Time article, “Marriage: What’s It Good For,” and writes that those with a college education want to wait until they launch their careers whereas, “the less educated will wait until they feel comfortable financially.”
She says the down economy has driven the 13 percent increase of couples in “cohabitation.” But, society has also become more accepting of “cohabitation,” or living together. In the Pew Research survey, 44% of all adults (and more than half of all adults ages 30 to 49) say they have cohabited at some point in their lives. Among those who have done so, about two-thirds (64%) say they thought of this living arrangement as a step toward marriage.
Forty-one percent of babies were born out of wedlock in 2008, an eightfold increase from 50 years ago. And 25 percent of kids now live in a single-parent home which is nearly triple the number of 1960. So it is not surprising that Americans (over three-quarters) still believe kids are best raised in a marriage.
I think the bottom line is that Americans still desire marriage as the ultimate pinnacle of personal success in their lives. But, many are prepared to settle for less in these dark, uncertain times. Since living together is less frowned upon than it used to be, people are beginning to “cohabitate” with the thought they will eventually get married (which more often than not, does not happen).
What is clear is that living together has not replaced the institution of marriage in the minds of Americans. Marriage is something that is still highly revered in our culture. Maybe too revered. So many of us now operate under the assumption that a perfect marriage is unattainable. And it is. Not one union has ever been perfect. We’ve also seen so many unions fall apart that we have become discouraged at the thought of ever getting married. But that doesn’t mean we should discount the institution as a whole. There are so many “good” marriages out there that it is still something we must all strive for in our lives.
Seventy-seven percent of Americans say it is easier for married people to raise a family (2 percent disagree). Thirty-five percent say it’s easier to be financially secure in a marriage (11 percent disagree). And Twenty-nine percent say happiness is more often found in marriage (29 percent) than not (5 percent).
Perhaps, Americans are just a little less willing to “fight the good fight.” Finding a good partner is hard. Marriage is harder. And in a world of arduous circumstances, we are just less willing to bite off another challenge in our personal lives. But as the old saying goes, “With great risk, comes great reward.” So let’s shoulder up some of that good old fashioned responsibility and jump in. Because marriage not only benefits the two individuals in them, they make for a better society.
This discussion will continue on Thursday, December 2nd on The Big Picture radio program. It airs live at noon eastern on Georgetown College's 93.7 WRVG-FMLP. Georgetown College counselor Megan Redditt and Ashley Babladelis, Georgetown College Area Coordinator for Campus Ministry, will weigh in on the institution of marriage. You can hear the discussion at this link: http://wrvg.georgetowncollege.edu/stream.htm
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